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- GameSig Archives Page GSA-1752
-
- The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy
-
- Ok everyone, hang on to your seats (and your towels!); this is probably going
- to be the wildest adventure game you'll ever play...unless Infocom comes out
- with a sequel, which they just might do!
-
- Before we get started, a few words of advice. This is not the only way of
- getting through the game. Many of the problems and situations (such as the
- whale's belly) have more than one solution. So, you might want to save the game
- from time to time, and experiment a little, to see if you can find other ways
- of doing things (actually, it's wise to save the game anyway, in case you make
- a mistake).
-
- Also, consult the Guide frequently during play; you will gain some useful
- insights to some of the objects you come across, and even some helpful
- information (sometimes). And remember, no matter how bad things may look: DON'T
- PANIC!
-
- Here you are, mild-mannered Arthur Dent, about to start the worst day of your
- life, although you don't know that...yet! Actually, the day is already getting
- off to a bad start, since you've just woken up in the dark, with a really bad
- headache (and it's all downhill from here).
-
- The first thing you need to do is stand up and turn on the light. That's a
- little better, anyway! Or maybe not, since you're having a hard time getting
- coordinated. Grab the dressing gown and put it on, then look in the pocket. Ah,
- an analgesic! Take that, then get the screwdriver and the toothbrush, and head
- South to the porch (did you hear a tree fall? Rather omnious, isn't it?).
-
- Here you find something no modern home should be without: junk mail. Take the
- mail, and go on outside. Uh-oh! There's a very big bulldozer on its way to
- level your home, and there's Prosser standing by, watching it all. Are you
- going to take this lying down?
-
- You bet you are! That's the only way to stop it: lie down in front of the
- bulldozer. No matter how close the thing gets, don't panic; it won't run you
- over (of course, in a short time, it really won't matter what happens to the
- house, but you don't know that yet). Just wait awhile until Ford Prefect shows
- up (read the junk mail while you wait).
-
- Ford seems a trifle preoccupied with the sky, but he is aware enough of you to
- try and give you back your towel. Don't take it, or he'll leave and you will be
- a lot worse off than you ever imagined (can things be worse than this? They
- sure can!).
-
- Instead of taking the towel, ask Ford about your home. He will eventually come
- to his senses, and realize what is going on. When that happens, he will be able
- to persuade Prosser to take your place in front of the bulldozer while the two
- of you head off to the pub to hoist a few.
-
- As soon as Prosser takes your place, go South and West to the pub. Buy a
- cheese (?) sandwich while you wait for him to arrive (when you read the
- description, you'll understand about the "?"). When Ford gets there, he'll buy
- you a few beers. Drink only three of them.
-
- Around about the time you've finished the third one, there will be a loud
- crash. In fact, it's the sound of your home being demolished by the bulldozer
- (that will teach you to trust anyone who wears a digital watch!). Don't take
- that sitting down, leave the pub and return to where your house used to be.
- Along the way, you'll see a starving dog.
-
- While you may wonder if anything could eat that sandwich and survive, give it
- to the dog, who will (amazingly!) enjoy it immensely, ignoring a microscopic
- space fleet that whizzes past (remember that fleet). Then continue on to the
- ruins of your home (Ford will be right behind you).
-
- And just about now, to put a perfect ending to a perfect day (which has just
- barely begun), the Vogon construction ships appear, to demolish the Earth to
- make way for a new Hyper-space Bypass (hmmm, maybe Ford wasn't kidding when he
- said he was from another planet, or that Earth would be destroyed in a short
- time).
-
- Still, don't panic...wait until Ford drops the Sub-etha signalling device.
- There won't be much time after that, so pick up the device, push the green
- button (if you dropped the Aunt's thing, have no fear: it will turn up again
- later), and you will be in....the dark.
-
- Get used to that, you'll be spending a lot of time there before this adventure
- is over. Notice that, at first, you can't do much. All your five senses seem to
- be out of order. However, if you wait, and read the descriptions very
- carefully, you will see that eventually, it mentions only 4 of your senses. The
- one that's missing is the one you can use. Keep this in mind, it will come in
- handy later.
-
- Right now, your nose seems to be working again, so smell. Sniff, sniff. Ugh!
- Whatever it is, it sure is strong! You are also now dimly aware of a shadow, so
- look at it. Well, well, it turns out to be Ford Prefect! And, looking around,
- you find yourself in the hold of a Vogon ship. Certainly better than being on
- Earth (or where Earth used to be).
-
- There's a glass case with an Atomic Vector Plotter inside, but don't bother
- with it yet. You have something else to do first, namely, obtain a Babel Fish.
- That shouldn't be hard, right? All you need to do is push the button on the
- dispensing machine, and you'll have one, right? Hehehehehehe!
-
- Those Babel Fish are pretty slippery characters (but, you may have found that
- out already for yourself!). And the cleaning robots are certainly no help; they
- seem to have only one mission in life: grabbing your Fish away from you. Well,
- we really can't let that happen!
-
- So, first thing to do is remove your gown and hang it on the hook. Now, wait
- for Ford to curl up, then get the towel and the satchel. Put the towel over the
- drain, and the satchel in front of the robot panel. Now comes the part that
- drives most people crazy: they don't know how to stop the
- upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot. But, it's so simple: just put the junk
- mail on top of the satchel.
-
- Now you can push the button! Then step back and watch the Rube Goldberg
- shenanigans, which end with the Babel Fish stuck solidly in your ear (squish!).
- Bet you never thought outer space would be like this! However, now that you
- have the Fish, you'll be able to understand anyone who talks to you.
-
- By the way, somewhere along the line, you will get a message that one of the
- phrases you've used was instrumental in starting a war that wiped out most of a
- small galaxy. There is nothing you can do about this; no matter how you try, it
- will come to pass.
-
- Rather unfortunate, isn't it? Even more unfortunate, sooner or later, the
- survivors will figure out how that happened, and they will be looking for
- revenge....but more about that charming prospect later.
-
- Right now, press the switch on the case. This will tell you what the code word
- is that will open the case so you can snatch the plotter. Make careful note of
- what word is required; it is chosen randomly each time. Too bad you have to
- listen to some pretty rotten poetry to get the word.
-
- Speaking of poetry, in a short while, you and Ford will be hustled into the
- Captain's quarters, and strapped into Poetry Appreciation Chairs (worser things
- could happen, but right now, you probably can't think of any). After the Vogon
- Captain has tortured you with the first verse, grit your teeth and enjoy the
- poetry. He will then, to your dismay, read you the next verse.
-
- While you could easily live without hearing it, in this case, you do need to
- listen so you know the word to type in. Fortunately, after the second verse,
- you don't have to enjoy the poetry. Unfortunately, since you survived both
- verses, the Captain is going to have you and Ford shoved out the airlock (you
- have now found something worse than appreciating Vogon poetry).
-
- While Ford tries to talk the guard out of spacing the two of you, type in the
- word from the poem. You must put quotes around the word, or it won't go
- through. Then get the plotter when the case opens. Now just wait awhile, and
- you and Ford will soon be in the airlock, with very little time left.
-
- In fact, time has just run out, and there you are in the depths of space.
- Lucky for you, the Guide explained how to survive all of 30 seconds out there!
- Well, perhaps not so lucky, since, considering the vastness of space, it's
- quite improbable that another ship will come by to pick you up before the 30
- seconds run out. So naturally, 29 seconds later, the Heart of Gold (the HOG)
- comes past and picks you up.
-
- There you are in the dark again. Wait and watch the display, until it no
- longer says you can't hear. Then listen, and you will hear the sound of the
- star drive. Now it gets cute: the program will lie to you, and say there is an
- exit to port. Don't you believe it! Go Aft instead, and you will be in Entry
- Bay 2. You can ignore the brochure, if you like.
-
- Go Aft again, and you're in the Fore End of the corridor. Here, Ford will find
- you you, and take you up to the bridge, where you meet Zaphod and Trillian.
- Actually, you've seen them both before, at a party you attended a short time
- ago. While you listen to the chatter between Zaphod and Ford, you can begin to
- drop some items here.
-
- You can drop the plotter, screwdriver, gown, and signalling device. By this
- time, everyone else has gone to the sauna, leaving you alone on the Bridge with
- Eddie, the shipboard computer. Don't mind Eddie, he's a little over-protective,
- but he's a good sort at heart. In fact, you can pretty much ignore him, as well
- as Marvin the Paranoid Robot, although Marvin will be important much later on
- (depressing as that may sound).
-
- Ok, time to prepare for some pretty weird happenings! First you'll need the
- spare improbability drive. So, go down, then Aft. Keep going Aft. The program
- will tell you that the Engine Room is dangerous. It LIES! Don't listen to it,
- just keep going Aft. Eventually, you'll get there.
-
- Of course, as soon as you're there, you'll want to look around. The program
- will tell you there is nothing to see. That, too, is a lie! Keep looking, and
- you'll find that there are some things to see here, especially the spare drive.
- Don't worry about the tools for now; you can leave them where they are.
-
- Once you have the drive, go back to the Fore End corridor, then head Port
- where you'll find the Nutrimat (try consulting the Guide about the Nutrimat).
- Touch the pad, and you will be provided with a delicious (?) cup of advanced
- tea substitute. Fortunately, you don't have to drink it. Take the cup (ignore
- the carton, it's useless) and return to the bridge.
-
- Drop the cup and the drive. Now, plug the small plug in to the small
- receptacle, and put the plotter's dangly bit into the tea substitute. Ok, you
- are about to have some pretty strange experiences, but before you throw the
- switch, some words of advice and caution.
-
- There are five scenarios (all rather short, but all of them important), that
- have to be completed. They come up in random order, so each one has its own
- little section of the walkthru. The lead-in to each of them is that familiar
- dark area, where you have to wait until one of your senses is working again.
- You will be in the dark area again when the scenario ends (and you will have to
- listen for the drive sound), which will then bring you back to the HOG.
-
- Also, be aware there are times that you may briefly go back to one of the
- scenarios you have already completed. You just sort of bounce in and out of
- those, but you do have to spend time waiting in the dark. I couldn't find a way
- around this, so you'll just have to live with it. Finally, it's a good idea to
- save the game after you complete each scenario, just in case. With that said,
- it's time, so push the switch!
-
- The Bugblatter Beast
-
- When you come out of the dark,
- you find yourself in the Lair of
- the dreaded Bugblatter Beast.
- There are, perhaps, better
- places you could wish yourself
- to be in, considering that,
- among its many charms, the
- Bugblatter has those tungsten-carbide vast-pain claws (perhaps he was a dentist
- in a previous life).
-
- However, you are here for a purpose, so you'll just have to do something about
- the Beast. Consulting the Guide tells you that Bugblatters are incredibly
- stupid, which is certainly the case. In the meantime, the Beast is bearing down
- on you, demanding your name. Don't be shy, introduce yourself, then run like
- heck East out of the Lair.
-
- Pick up one of the sharp stones, and then cover your head with the towel. Old
- Buggy is so dumb, he thinks that, since you can't see him, he can't see you.
- But, this won't last for very long, so you have to fool him, and quickly. Lucky
- for you, this isn't hard.
-
- Carve your name on the Bugblatter's memorial. When he sees the name there, he
- will think he's already eaten you, which is why he can't see you (dumb may be
- an understatement here). The Beast will then curl up for a nap, leaving you
- free (after removing the towel!) to re-enter the Lair and then go SouthWest.
-
- Here you will find the skeleton of some poor soul clutching a Nutrimat
- Computer Interface Card. Take the card, and just wait around for awhile. You
- will be mistakenly captured as a Bugblatter Beast (talk about insults!), but
- you will eventually be freed, and have some other adventures along the way,
- before you find yourself back in the dark again.
-
- When you get back to the HOG, you can drop the asteroid paint chipper and the
- interface card in the Fore End before going up to the Bridge (you'll need the
- interface later, but there's no need to drag it around with you now). Once on
- the Bridge, push the switch again, and you'll be back in the dark.
-
- Trillian
-
- The dark ends with something liquidy to the touch. In fact, you find your
- fingers bathing in a glass of wine. Coming to your senses, you realize that you
- are now Trillian, and you are at the party where you (she?) met both Arthur and
- a mysterious man named Phil.
-
- Take a good look at Arthur, and you will see he has a huge ball of fluff on
- his jacket. Just what you want, but your hands are full. Drop the plate you're
- holding, and get the fluff. Open your handbag and put the fluff in it, then get
- the plate again (otherwise, the pushy hostess won't leave you alone).
-
- Now, all you need to do is wait, trying not to be bored to tears by Arthur's
- feeble attempts at conversation. Give Phil a look, and shortly he will come
- over, and take you out to his scooter. As you blast off, everything once again
- becomes.....dark.
-
- Ford
-
- Now you find yourself standing in a country lane, holding a satchel. The place
- looks familiar. In fact, it's the lane outside Arthur's home, and this time you
- seem to be Ford Prefect.
-
- Those Vogons will be arriving soon, so there's not much time. Open the
- satchel, and take the satchel fluff, the towel, and the sub-etha signalling
- device. Go North, and there you will see Arthur lying in front of the
- bulldozer.
-
- With a certain feeling of deja vu, you offer him the towel. However, instead
- of taking it, he asks you about his home. You suddenly realize what is going on
- (not that it really matters, considering what will shortly happen!). In a
- moment of magnanimity (or possibly madness), you decide to take Arthur
- hitchhiking with you.
-
- But first, you have to deal with Prosser. Go over to him, and ask him to lie
- down in front of the bulldozer. He'll make a little fuss, but you'll manage to
- persuade him. Now, you and Arthur can hurry over to the pub, and drink some
- beer (remember to buy peanuts).
-
- Sit there, drinking your beer (no more than three!), meditating on why Arthur
- is taking the imminent demise of the world so calmly, until the house falls and
- Arthur goes tearing out.
-
- Follow him to the ruins of his home. Drop the satchel, and put the satchel
- fluff on top of it. Now wait. The Vogon ships will appear, the winds will pick
- up, and you'll start fumbling with the device.
-
- Oops! You just dropped it! Fortunately, it rolls over by Arthur, who picks it
- up and looks at it. Also fortunately, Arthur manages to push the right button,
- and everything becomes....dark.
-
- Zaphod
-
- You come out of the dark to find that you're now Zaphod Beeblebrox, the Presi
- dent of the Universe. In fact, you're on your way to steal the Heart of Gold
- (with a little help from Trillian).
-
- As your speedboat zooms towards its destination, search the seat carefully and
- you will find seat fluff and a key. The key opens the toolbox, but you don't
- need to do that now. Just make sure you take the box; you might be needing it
- later.
-
- Now, if you continue on your present course, you'll never make it between the
- cliffs and the spire (or maybe you know that already). The trick is to make the
- auto-pilot do the hard work, so steer the boat towards the rocky spire.
-
- The spire gets closer...closer....closer....and then, at last! the auotpilot
- wakes up, just in time, and steers you to safety! Whew, that was a close one.
- Ok, now you can stand up and go North to the Dais, where the dedication
- ceremonies will be held.
-
- Wait around, enjoying the cheers of the crowd (read the banner if you like),
- until Trillian appears. She will jump out of the crowd, and hold a gun to one
- of your heads. The guards are a little hesitant about what to do, so now's your
- chance: tell them not to shoot.
-
- After a few moments, they will drop their rifles into a pile..just what you've
- been waiting for. Tell Trillian to shoot the rifles. As the weapons disappear,
- you and Trillian make a break for the HOG! You made it!! But...everything seems
- to be getting....dark.
-
- The War Room
-
- Ah ha, fooled ya! I bet when you heard the sound of the star drive, you thought
- you were back on the HOG. But, surprise! you're in the War Room of a mighty war
- fleet approaching Earth (at least you're yourself this time!).
-
- Hmmmm, looking around, you see an ultra-plasmic awl. Pick that up, since it
- might come in handy later. Now, take a good look at the aliens. They are
- Vl'hurg and G'guvunt. Sound familiar? Ring any bells? Remember that small
- galaxy you pretty much wiped out with your careless words?
-
- Well, they finally figured out what happened, and now they are on their way to
- Earth to take revenge! (Uh oh) You can't really stop them, so just wait around
- and hope for the best.
-
- The fleet gets closer and closer, and then arrives. Amazingly, the first thing
- they see is....a huge dog happily munching a cheese (?) sandwich! The sight of
- this giant monster, contentedly eating, softens the hearts of the Vl'hurgs and
- G'guvunts.
-
- With a new mission in life, they turn around and go home. Along the way, they
- transport you back to the HOG. Unfortunately, since the aliens are microscopic,
- so are you.....and you end up materializing inside your own head!
-
- But wait....maybe there is a madness in this method, after all (or is that the
- other way around?). Move along the mazy of synapses (any direction will do,
- they're all alike), until you come to the particle.
-
- Look at the particle, and you will see it's your common sense. If there's one
- thing you surely don't need in THIS adventure, it's common sense, so take the
- particle. Whoops! Everythig just went.....dark.
-
- Ok, now you should have collected the four fluffs, the ultra-plasmic awl, the
- paint chipper, the nutrimat computer interface, and the tool box. After you have
- done the last scenario (whichever one that is), don't go back to the Bridge.
- Pick up the interface, and go to the Nutrimat. It's tea time!
-
- Open the panel on the Nutrimat, remove the circuit board, and replace it with
- the interface. Now, touch the pad. With a clearer idea of just what it is you
- want, the Nutrimat begins to have some problems. Its own limited circuitry
- can't handle it (well, it's just a dumb machine, after all), so it ties into
- the main shipboard computer.
-
- Don't spend time here watching the Nutrimat go through its gyrations. Head for
- the bridge, and plug the large plug into the large receptacle. The moment is
- almost here: the HOG has arrived at the legendary lost planet of Magrathea, and
- the natives aren't friendly.
-
- In fact, they are sending up a bunch of missiles to vaporize the HOG (hmmm,
- they really AREN'T friendly!). Now, push the switch on the spare drive. Wow!
- Talk about improbabilities! The missiles have turned into a giant sperm whale!
-
- After accepting the congratulations of Ford, Zaphod, and Trillian (who
- conveniently disappear into the sauna again), return to the Nutrimat, where you
- will find, at last, a cup of REAL tea. Get the cup (you will drop the No Tea),
- but don't drink it!! Bring it to the Bridge.
-
- Drop the real tea (you will automatically pick up the No Tea). Remove the
- dangly bit from the tea substitute, and put it in the real tea. You have one
- more little trip to make. First, however, drop everything you are carrying
- except the Babel Fish and the Aunt's Thing (yes, you have it again, you just
- can't get rid of it).
-
- Push the switch on the Drive. After a short stay in the dark, you will find
- yourself in the whale's tummy (it may, however, take more than try to get here,
- but you will make it eventually). There's a flowerpot here! Get the pot, and
- put it in the Aunt's Thing. Now, wait around (you really don't have a choice),
- and soon you will be in the dark again.
-
- Ah, back on the HOG at last. If you take inventory, you'll notice you don't
- have the Aunt's Thing. Don't panic! It will, as always, turn up. In the
- meantime, go around picking up the various fluffs. The Zaphod fluff, along with
- the tool box, will be by the hatch. Trillian's, of course, is in her handbag,
- and Ford's is on the satchel, and the last one is in the pocket of your gown
- (unless you took it out earlier and dropped it somewhere).
-
- The Aunt's Thing has reappeared by now, so go up to the Bridge. Take the
- flowerpot, plant all four fluffs, drop the pot, and wait awhile. When you see a
- tiny sprout has formed, take the pot into the sauna. When you emerge, a changed
- man, you will also have a changed plant.
-
- However, there is another problem! The HOG has landed on Magrathea, but Eddie,
- overprotective as usual, has jammed the hatch shut. And, he's not going to open
- it, no matter how long it takes him to check for dangers on the planet (which
- will be quite a few years).
-
- You are almost ready! First, eat the fruit from the plant (mmm, tasty!). You
- have a vision, and pay close attention to it: the vision shows you what tool
- Marvin will need to open the hatch. This varies from game to game, and there is
- no way to know which one it is until you eat the fruit. That is also why you
- have to collect all those tools. Get the tool that you saw in the vision. If it
- happens to be one you haven't seen yet, then you'll find it in Marvin's pantry.
-
- The trick now is to find Marvin, and he's in his pantry, behind the screening
- door. First, get the real tea. You automatically drop the No Tea. But, you
- don't have your common sense anymore, so....pick up the No Tea! Now, you have
- both Tea and No Tea at the same time!!
-
- Go to the Screening Door. Open it. The Door, impressed by your being able to
- have both Tea and No Tea will let you through! However, WAIT!!! Don't go
- through the door yet! If you set foot in the pantry, you will be overwhelmed by
- depression! So, that magic moment has arrived, the moment you've been waiting
- for ever since you left Earth: drink the real tea!! (Ahhhhhh, good to the last
- drop!)
-
- All right! Now you can go into the Pantry (yay)! Marvin will be there, sulking
- as usual. Tell him to fix the hatch. Marvin will grumble, but he will agree to
- it, and tell you to meet him at the Hatch Access Space, with the proper tool,
- in twelve moves.
-
- As you already have the tool (thanks to the fruit), you can go directly to the
- Access space (drop everything but the tool and the Fish), and wait for Marvin.
- When he arrives and asks for the tool, give it to him. Marvin will fiddle
- briefly, and the hatch will slide open.
-
- Go out to the Hatch, and then down the Hatch. Wow! You have now set foot on
- the legendary lost planet of Magrathea, and........
-
- And what comes next, will have to wait for the sequel (and let's hope it isn't
- too long a wait!!!)!
- 2.3
-